The Insis-Persis-Temptation of Optimism

He can sit in his hall all he wants,
And sit he will, because that's what he wants, what he wants;
The silence of tomorrow,
The silence of today,
The loneliness but the comfort,
He shoots heroin without a needle,
He shoots his snide bullets at people, he can hardly remember the names,
Or the places or the faces,
Or the times or the thoughts,
Or the this or the that but he carries on because it's what he's got,
He traded everything for this.

In a one room apartment, on a one room street,
In a one room town on a one room world he is safe,
He hides from the thrusts and parries of dialogue,
Of the drops and tallies he takes,
And all the friends he fails to make.

Alone is a verb when the word is done not been,
And in solitude there is nothing to be sought,
And the creeping dust of dissent seeps into a mind,
And emptiness has turned his eyes blind,
And sorrow twisted his finers to claws,
And silence has locked his broken jaw.

And the static of the TV crackles on channel nothing,
Like a tiger's purr it promises invitation and violence,
But it never promises silence.

And his only sheet is black, and his name is despair,
And he doesn't see the trees and he doesn't breathe the air,
And he isn't wanted here and he doesn't want to be there,
And he calls a glance and smile a stare,
He thinks in suspicion and he deals in quarts,
But he's alone with only his sighs and his thoughts.

Because hope is what made us and keeps us on,
Children's films and erotic novels teach us the insistence of optimism,
And Salvador Dali scratched out the persistence of memory,
And the Bible lists the first temptation,
And they all exist in the same place, the same sphere of being and existent remedies.

So don't make sense of it,
And don't lose faith in it,
Because it's the only one we've got,
And we'll never get another.




x

The Continuing Adventures of Kieran!

First and foremost I would like to address the condition of my head. It hurts :(
I've got one bastard hangover slowly brewing. Whether it will make it all the way to the karmic horror of it's gradual potential or merely seep away into the recesses of my head like some kind of oily discharge has yet to be seen.

Aside from that though, I am listening to Radiohead, lying on my bed and contemplating the beauty of the natural world near my house. So all in all it's not so bad at all :)

Aside from that little to say, just noticed the bleak bareness of my blog. Working on Daniel Goodbye III, but I'm worried about the disintegrating quality of the pieces. Maybe I should get high or somesuch.

:)

Rags to Rags and Dust to Dust

There is something oddly euphoric about coming out the deep end.

I think I deliberately engineered myself a bad time lately, it happens all the time. Every time it's silly and stupid, it's never an overstatement of experience, it's always a deliberate throwing off of sensibilities to my detriment. This time, though, I saw someone else doing the same thing.

It's hilarious XD

But anyway, I occasionally like to live in angst. I think everyone does, to one extent or the other. People feel sorry for themselves, it's kinda fun in a perverse way.

But that's not what defines someone. A little angst is the basis of the adolescent stumbling that keeps life interesting; if we were cool, adult and sorted all the time then that leaves little enough for adventure.

And I fucking LOVE adventure :D

I like being cheerful, it's a good quality in a person. I like parts of me that make me nice to be around, but this is my favourite because it makes it nice to be me :D

Hmmm, normally I get rid of blogs like this. Slightly too revealing; ya know, the kind that says I've had one too many drink tonight or I will tomorrow. They always go, but I think I'll keep this. This ain't angst, my friends. This is life :)

If you never do another thing, listen to this song. It's appreciable. Everyone likes it :)

Incidentally I like tequila. It's like normal spirits, but made from cactus. That's just downright hardcore.

xxxxxx

The cutest thing ever

Fireflies

Today has been... a lovely day :)

I've been getting a lot of stuff done. Not even really important stuff, I'm just doing things, being places. The sort of thing you can feel good about when you want to put your feet up at the end of the day :)

Anyway, I'd love to recommend the Gomez song "In Our Gun" to you, but it's not on Youtube. So I dunno, go to Grooveshark and look it up if ya really wanna go with my suggestion :)

Try and hear it out all the way though, about three quarters in it suddenly drops into this awesome, gritty electronica segment.

Also, I heard that Katie may have footage of Codie and I playing a couple of songs at the Rooms. If I get hold of that, I might stick it up for you guys :)

Oddly sexualising positivity there, that picture. That makes it inherintly awesome (Y) :P

xxxxxxxx

My first spambot conversation

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Codie

lilpixirokkin says:

Yay someone to talk to !! how are u? I found your name in the msn online members search

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Found my name?

lilpixirokkin says:

Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Hmmm? Oh, I thought you were my friend Codie

lilpixirokkin says:

my roomates just stepped out I only have a little while alone... are u alone too? we should cam2cam

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Aaah, so you're a spambot on Codie's account then. Well that makes sense.

lilpixirokkin says:

nah, I am a vegetarian... no spam for me! haha

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

... That was very nearly a response

lilpixirokkin says:

K here's the link to my cam it's http://www.freakyloving.com/avbp go there and you should see me, just click the join free tab on top of the page, I use this site cause you can't record it like on here -- my dad would kill me if he found out I was doing this stuff on his computer lol

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

That's not even remotely connected to what we were just talking about. The facade of human response is rapidly deteriorating here.

lilpixirokkin says:

LOL aw you're cute.. well can u see my cam it was giving me trouble earlier but it looks ok now? oh I hope u dont mind chatting with a freaky girl lol!

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

There is nothing cute about me stating that I find your attempts at imitating a person through technology to be cold, unconvincing and frankly a littel creepy. Not even a little bit.

lilpixirokkin says:

yeah i'm horny lolz! u? Wait you're not a stalker are u?? LOL

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Why yes, yes I am. I stalk people all the time using my human limbs that you clearly do not possess for you are an unnerving string of ones and zeros that imitate sentience in order to make disjointed statements about coitus.

lilpixirokkin says:

Mhhm u never know lol I have to make sure! . maybe we can trade phone numbers after we chat on cam ? I'd love to...

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. The dark one is risen, the destroyer is come, ia ia! Cthulhu fhtagn.

lilpixirokkin says:

nice well u can also just watch me if u want....it's up to u oh babe what's your favorite color?

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

This is one of those things, ya know, the ones that are not funny, but then they're funny, but then they stop being funny again and then they start being funny again. Spambot baiting. You could make a good sport out of it.

lilpixirokkin says:

nah, I am a vegetarian... no spam for me! haha

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Spam.

lilpixirokkin says:

nah, I am a vegetarian... no spam for me! haha

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Spam.

lilpixirokkin says:

nah, I am a vegetarian... no spam for me! haha

Kieranosaurus Wrecked says:

Well, anyway, I'm going to stop this now. The humour quality has exited the facade of a conversation with a loud noise best characterized by the combination of consonants "plbth". Toodle loo.

lilpixirokkin says:

make sure u fill out your correct b-day k? cause they won't let u in if you can't verify age I had to use my debit card to verify age but they don't charge, it's just to make sure you're not a kid

Re: *Is Negative Crab*

Well, actually I think you'll find you're awesome. So if you take a moment to think about, you're the real winner. When you get right down to it. Really :p

I mean you have a whole lot of this:

So really, when you think about it, that's basically just this:



Oh, and by the way, here's that hug :)