Raw Horse, Courtesy of a Man Named Chris

I step into the restaurant
And bellow my order
Bellow my order
Bring me a raw horse
Bring me a horse I roar! Waiter!
Bring me a whole horse
Bring me a whole live horse! Waiter!
The other customers quail
Bewildered children clutch their mothers' skirts
And wail
The maitre d'
Whimpers, smiles a nervous smile
And sidles up to me
'P'haps M'sieur would laak to traa
Som escalope of veal
Smothered in a rich waan sauce
With 'aricots vert
Et pommes Dauphinoise.....'NO! BRING ME A HORSE
An uneasy murmur ripples Round the room
As diners shuffle knives and forks And spoons
The air is dense with desperation And gloom
They're hoping it'll all be over Soon
They glance About
For a way To escape Then
One man panics and makes a break
I intercept him with a body check
That drives him through the plate glass shopfront
He dies impaled in a pool on the pavement
NOW NOBODY MOVE TILL I FINISH MY FOOD
And bring me a raw horse
Bring me a horse I roar Waiter!
The horse is brought
It shies and struggles and stamps and snorts
I strip to the waist
The waiter trips and stumbles
In his haste to get away
He crashes through the kitchen doors
Which clatter on their springs revealing
The sous-chef swinging by his apron strings
From a hook in the kitchen ceiling
My sinews strain and muscles flex
Flecks of foam from the horses nostrils
Spatter my chest
A couple of pensioners piss their pants
And with a screech beseech me
'Oh spare the noble beast
Eat us instead
We're old and bony
But our blood is red.Oh spare the horse'
The pair implore.
Two well aimed fish forks
Nail them to the wall.
The air is thick with sweatAnd fear
The horses eyes roll white
It screams and rears.
I grasp its head
And taking care to bite an ear off
While its still alive,
I wrestle it to the floor
Tables, chairs are splintered
Crockery breaksI snap its neck
Its legs keep flailing
As I tear into its flesh
Eating, eating, eating, eating,
Eating, eating, eating,
Eating, eating,
Eating
Till I'm sated.
Then when gorged
I torch the place
And walk away
Covered head to toe
In guts and gore,
Because I eat horses
I eat horses
I eat horses

RAW . . . .